Your personality is all about the experiences you have ever had. The experiences which enter the autonomic nervous system and become unconscious beliefs. And, today that’s you. Then, these experiences attract other experiences which match your existing subconscious beliefs until you think you have a certain understanding of reality. That’s Law of Attraction. And, slowly and gradually, your personality also keep rolling as per your latest experiences. For instance, I am not worthy of love, people don’t understand me or I am a bad person, etc. You need to Strengthen your Emotional Muscle.
If at some stage in our lives we disown these parts of ourselves for survival purposes, it’s like a little piece of our wholeness is shattered off. And, these unconscious beliefs end up running the show when we are triggered by external pain. Such as that woman was so insensitive, how could she ignore my feelings like that? In fact, what is really hurting you is the part of yourself which has split off from the whole, from that first wounding, and that’s what is stabbing you in the heart. Yes, the woman is a trigger, but actually, your pain is nothing to do with her. Your pain is your disowned self, crying for attention, approval, forgiveness, love and reintegration.
If someone else was to be treated the same way by that woman, they might not have the same wound, so the pain would not resonate so strongly in them, and they would just shrug it off very easily.
Recommended Read: The Loss is When Life Dies Inside You While You Are Still Alive
How to Strengthen your Emotional Muscle?
I found the following methods really effective & helpful to Strengthen your Emotional Muscle.
ANTs Method by Jim Kwik:
ANTs are Automatic Negative Thoughts. Such as “I am not smart enough” or “I don’t have any skills”. Computers are created by human brains. That means the human brain is a supercomputer. When you talk to yourself, that’s the program your supercomputer runs on. So, program your supercomputer well. Remember, your mind is always listening on your self-talk. And, if you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.
It’s alright if someone doesn’t like you. It really doesn’t mean that you will have to curse yourself for this. If someone is hurting you or not liking you for something, it’s completely about them, not about you at all. Remember this fact and let it go. Forgive yourself for not being up to the mark for everyone else.
Being Kind to yourself:
You need to be kind to yourself first before anyone else does so. If you will be harsh on you, everyone else gets a reason to be harsh on you and keep hurting you every now and then.
Assertiveness is a learnable quality. It means being self-assured and confident without being aggressive. You don’t have to keep proving yourself to everyone. But, at the same time make sure you don’t fake about your self-assurance. Make sure you are confident about yourself. You must know what qualities you have and what don’t. And, very important thing, it’s not necessary to possess all the good qualities. It’s alright if you have a few of them. Just be assertive.
Take stand for yourself:
Someone can hurt you only if you allow them to do so. Be confident and take a stand for yourself. It’s ok not be perfect for everyone. It’s ok not if everyone is not happy with you. Until & unless you are not happy with you, no one else could ever be.
And, the most important – don’t take anything personally:
Realise that when others are unkind or cruel, it’s about them, not you. But, if there is something truly unacceptable, take a stand for it and do something about it.
This can often seem counter-intuitive and unsubstantial. However, if you try it with complete honesty, you will see the results. All it needs is true practice. Universal Law of Attraction & subconscious mind does work amazingly. Give it a shot, Strengthen your Emotional Muscle & see the miracle happening to your life.